Yes, my brother's name was Baldur, who was named after our Dad. Baldur was also the name of a god in Norse mythology associated with light, beauty, love and happiness.
Today is Baldur's 68th birthday, but he passed from this earth 2 years ago, a couple of weeks after his 66th birthday. Losing him was a huge shock for his family. He appeared to be quite healthy, ate right, was physically active, was very engaged with his own business (he was a mechanical engineer and very innovative), and attentive to his wife, daughters, and grandchildren.
When his wife called to tell me he had died, I really couldn't comprehend what she was saying. I knew that her father was quite ill and thought for sure she meant to say that her father had died, not that my brother had died.
She lost her husband, which is tragic. But his daughters lost their father, his grandchildren their GrandDaddy, his sisters their brother, and his nephews and nieces their uncle. His friends lost a good friend.
Baldur was not a huge talker. He had an analytical mind and you could just see those gears turning in his head even though he said very little. He was a huge Texas Longhorn fan and loved watching the UT football games. He was always very inventive and mechanically minded.
When we were kids growing up, he had a paper route in our neighborhood. At that time, the paper boys would roll up each newspaper from their stacks and tie string around them. This was before the proliferation of plastic bags that now litter our world. He invented and built a little machine out in our garage that would roll up each newspaper and tie the string around it. I think he operated it with a bicycle wheel or something.
He loved cars and engines, and in high school he bought a '56 Chevy and put in a super hopped up V6 Pontiac engine -- at least that is what I remember him putting in there. He had it painted a gold color with red flames along the side. It was the ultimate 1950's cool car. Later he got an old Model A Ford or something near it, I think it was a 1929 model. He put a new engine in that of course. He later regretted ever letting go of it.
Our Dad, the first Baldur, had a really smooth Mercury Marquis, long and green. After our Dad died at the age of 68 of heart disease, Baldur kept the Mercury for many, many years. I wish we still had it.
We all miss Baldur a lot, and I especially think of him on his birthday and when UT plays an especially exciting and winning football game. I hope his grandchildren will keep him in their memories all their lives and know what a special GrandDad he was.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
My Friend James
I learned today that an old friend of mine, James Ammon Lewis, passed away earlier this month. I first met James in the 70s when we all congregated in Buda, Texas near Austin at the Blues House. This was an older, simple farm type house owned by our friend Alan where many gathered in the early 1970s to listen to blues, play music, party, and enjoy life. It was absolutely the "good ole days."
James was an intellectual who was more well read than almost anyone I knew. He read philosophy, the classics, literature, and what some would call a Liberal Arts roster of published works. For a time he lived near The University of Texas campus and later moved to Buda to a small cabin above a creek, a house he rented from his friend Bob.
It was from James that I furthered my education in Eastern philosophy, the more esoteric poets, and literature. James's library was extensive, and he loved to give books to those close to him. I still have dog-eared copies of books James gave to me. His library extended from books on Buddhism by D.T. Suzuki, Alan Watts, Lu K'uan Yu, and others to poetry by Rimbaud and Baudelaire. He, along with his close friend Paul, shared the works of these poets and authors with many of their friends. James always wrote a well thought-out and carefully crafted personal tribute in the flyleaf of any book he gave to a friend.
One I just pulled off my shelf was Myths & Texts by Gary Snyder. The flyleaf signed by James reads, "To Annie Lou, -- your beauty flows around you like a flame." It had been signed by Gary Snyder.
James was one of those extremely intelligent, sensitive, and brilliant people who had a difficult time dealing with the system of the workaday world, being known to the "man," and navigating the health care system and social services that could have helped him so much. Even though he wrote poetry and a novel or two, he never had the wherewithal to pursue publication. He could have attained a PhD, but was not inclined to put up with the academic treadmill and demands of pursuing that pinnacle of academic pursuits. He was brilliant of mind, but struggled with daily life.
For a time he did an amazing job developing course notes for a tutoring service by attending a wide variety of upper-level classes and taking excellent notes, which were marketed and sold to thousands of UT students. He made a living this way for quite a few years. Course notes authored by James Lewis were always in high demand. He was known by many as "the Professor."
As far as I can remember, he never owned a car after the early 1970s nor did he drive. He rode a bicycle for some time and walked where he needed to go. When he lived in the Buda cabin he would get to his job taking notes at UT classes by riding with friends from Buda who worked at UT. It was while James was living in Buda where I spent the most time with him and got to know him. I was living farther out past Buda near Driftwood and would occasionally stop by on my way home from work on a Friday evening.
I remember in particular one evening, sitting in the small kitchen overlooking the creek, drinking beer, partaking in mota, and listening to all of Bob Dylan's records as all of us --James, Alan, Albee.... sang along. James the poet knew every lyric to every one of Dylan's songs.
After a number of years, James was no longer able to sustain living away from the city with no transportation and moved back to Austin. For a time he was homeless, then later resided at the home of an old friend, Michael, who offered his hospitality to James. When that became no longer feasible, he moved out and was again homeless, living in makeshift shelters near the UT campus.
For an income he collected aluminum cans and sold them. He depended on the kindnesses of friends such as Albee, who visited him regularly every Friday after he got off work at UT, buying him groceries and spending time with him listening to music, having philosophical discussions, and enjoying his company.
His last home was near the UT campus in a small room off a garage belonging to a charitable person who wanted to help him out by providing him with shelter. It was here that James passed on at the age of 64.
Some might see a man like James as a person who has wasted his brilliance and did not live to his full potential. While this may be true on some levels, it must be understood that James did not really fit into the world as many of us know it. He did not want to "play the game." He was unable to navigate the daily struggles of life such as holding down a job, taking care of his health, paying rent. It's a sad thing to see a man so brilliant and full of potential who ends up more or less homeless and in poor health because of his inability to do otherwise. However, he was very sociable -- not a recluse -- and even in his poor circumstances went out into the world everyday where people in the campus community knew him and were friendly to him, again calling him "the professor."
James had his place in this world. Those who knew him were treated with little gems of wisdom on a continual basis, a satirical sense of humor, biting comments on society and government, and interpretations of philosophical thought, especially Zen Buddhism. While James was not able to live successfully in a modern, fast-paced, consumer-driven world, he left his mark in many, sometimes subtle ways. Those who knew and loved him will never disparage his contribution to their lives.
James was an intellectual who was more well read than almost anyone I knew. He read philosophy, the classics, literature, and what some would call a Liberal Arts roster of published works. For a time he lived near The University of Texas campus and later moved to Buda to a small cabin above a creek, a house he rented from his friend Bob.
It was from James that I furthered my education in Eastern philosophy, the more esoteric poets, and literature. James's library was extensive, and he loved to give books to those close to him. I still have dog-eared copies of books James gave to me. His library extended from books on Buddhism by D.T. Suzuki, Alan Watts, Lu K'uan Yu, and others to poetry by Rimbaud and Baudelaire. He, along with his close friend Paul, shared the works of these poets and authors with many of their friends. James always wrote a well thought-out and carefully crafted personal tribute in the flyleaf of any book he gave to a friend.
One I just pulled off my shelf was Myths & Texts by Gary Snyder. The flyleaf signed by James reads, "To Annie Lou, -- your beauty flows around you like a flame." It had been signed by Gary Snyder.
James was one of those extremely intelligent, sensitive, and brilliant people who had a difficult time dealing with the system of the workaday world, being known to the "man," and navigating the health care system and social services that could have helped him so much. Even though he wrote poetry and a novel or two, he never had the wherewithal to pursue publication. He could have attained a PhD, but was not inclined to put up with the academic treadmill and demands of pursuing that pinnacle of academic pursuits. He was brilliant of mind, but struggled with daily life.
For a time he did an amazing job developing course notes for a tutoring service by attending a wide variety of upper-level classes and taking excellent notes, which were marketed and sold to thousands of UT students. He made a living this way for quite a few years. Course notes authored by James Lewis were always in high demand. He was known by many as "the Professor."
As far as I can remember, he never owned a car after the early 1970s nor did he drive. He rode a bicycle for some time and walked where he needed to go. When he lived in the Buda cabin he would get to his job taking notes at UT classes by riding with friends from Buda who worked at UT. It was while James was living in Buda where I spent the most time with him and got to know him. I was living farther out past Buda near Driftwood and would occasionally stop by on my way home from work on a Friday evening.
I remember in particular one evening, sitting in the small kitchen overlooking the creek, drinking beer, partaking in mota, and listening to all of Bob Dylan's records as all of us --James, Alan, Albee.... sang along. James the poet knew every lyric to every one of Dylan's songs.
After a number of years, James was no longer able to sustain living away from the city with no transportation and moved back to Austin. For a time he was homeless, then later resided at the home of an old friend, Michael, who offered his hospitality to James. When that became no longer feasible, he moved out and was again homeless, living in makeshift shelters near the UT campus.
For an income he collected aluminum cans and sold them. He depended on the kindnesses of friends such as Albee, who visited him regularly every Friday after he got off work at UT, buying him groceries and spending time with him listening to music, having philosophical discussions, and enjoying his company.
His last home was near the UT campus in a small room off a garage belonging to a charitable person who wanted to help him out by providing him with shelter. It was here that James passed on at the age of 64.
Some might see a man like James as a person who has wasted his brilliance and did not live to his full potential. While this may be true on some levels, it must be understood that James did not really fit into the world as many of us know it. He did not want to "play the game." He was unable to navigate the daily struggles of life such as holding down a job, taking care of his health, paying rent. It's a sad thing to see a man so brilliant and full of potential who ends up more or less homeless and in poor health because of his inability to do otherwise. However, he was very sociable -- not a recluse -- and even in his poor circumstances went out into the world everyday where people in the campus community knew him and were friendly to him, again calling him "the professor."
James had his place in this world. Those who knew him were treated with little gems of wisdom on a continual basis, a satirical sense of humor, biting comments on society and government, and interpretations of philosophical thought, especially Zen Buddhism. While James was not able to live successfully in a modern, fast-paced, consumer-driven world, he left his mark in many, sometimes subtle ways. Those who knew and loved him will never disparage his contribution to their lives.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Being out of Work
For the past 17 years I have been a technical writer, and it has been a rewarding career. Back in 2008 when the economy was going bust, I was laid off from my job at a well-known high-tech company. I was told they would be using writing teams in India to do more of the work many of us had been doing. The company cut about half of their writers and editors over the course of a year or so.
After 9 years of faithful employment, I felt pretty devastated. Plus the job market was under serious stress and at 59, I was not exactly a hot property. I spent the next year and a half applying for about 200 jobs or more, and had about 40 interviews. For several of these, I was the back-up candidate, which was encouraging but also "close but no cigar" as they say.
I applied for and was willing to work in an administrative job--I was not being picky. Then after about a year I even started applying for cashier and retail jobs at J.C. Penney's, Academy Sports and Outdoor, Target, Walgreens, and my local grocery store. None of them even called me back after I spent hours filling out their online job applications.
I applied at hospitals, universities, and city and state government offices. I applied for over 30 jobs at Texas State University where I'd earned a Masters degree with a 4.0 GPA and was a lifetime alumni member. I had some interviews, but no one would hire me.
Fortunately the U.S. government was helping out the unemployed. I got extensions on my unemployment insurance (UI), and my COBRA was partially covered by the government. If it hadn't been, I would have had to drop my health insurance because it was close to $600 a month, about half of what I was taking in with UI.
Luckily I got some part-time freelance writing work in the health care field that helped me make ends meet, and when I didn't work enough hours, I got UI. It seems like everything in my house decided to break during this time. I had to replace my septic tank pump, my dryer, my kitchen stove, my tires, and even my heating and air conditioning system. I figured it was better to fix it in case I had to sell my house to have money to live on.
I knew what was going on with thousands of other people around the country, and that I was really not too bad off. So many other people were living in travel trailers with their children, or in their cars or tents. At least I had a house I could sell; the market in Texas was still OK.
Finally after a year and a half and a lot of persistence and perseverance, I got a job as an editor at UT Austin. I was thrilled to be back at work even though it meant a long commute. Eventually I returned to technical writing when a company I'd interviewed for a year earlier, and had come in 2nd for the job opening, had a new opening for which I applied and was offered the job.
All I can say to those out there still struggling to find work is to keep an open mind. Don't give up hope. Do everything you have to do to make ends meet and be conservative. If you have to downsize your lifestyle and so on, you just do it. I got really good at living on less. It was hard, but we managed.
If you need to, go online and learn new skills and new tools. There are a lot of resources out there for retraining and self training--so take advantage of that. Local colleges have programs and sometimes financing for people to learn new job skills. Look into those. Get out there and meet people, talk to everyone you know, call everyone you've ever worked with or you know who has a job and find out if they know of any openings.
Do not despair--you will get through it somehow and come out on the other end.
After 9 years of faithful employment, I felt pretty devastated. Plus the job market was under serious stress and at 59, I was not exactly a hot property. I spent the next year and a half applying for about 200 jobs or more, and had about 40 interviews. For several of these, I was the back-up candidate, which was encouraging but also "close but no cigar" as they say.
I applied for and was willing to work in an administrative job--I was not being picky. Then after about a year I even started applying for cashier and retail jobs at J.C. Penney's, Academy Sports and Outdoor, Target, Walgreens, and my local grocery store. None of them even called me back after I spent hours filling out their online job applications.
I applied at hospitals, universities, and city and state government offices. I applied for over 30 jobs at Texas State University where I'd earned a Masters degree with a 4.0 GPA and was a lifetime alumni member. I had some interviews, but no one would hire me.
Fortunately the U.S. government was helping out the unemployed. I got extensions on my unemployment insurance (UI), and my COBRA was partially covered by the government. If it hadn't been, I would have had to drop my health insurance because it was close to $600 a month, about half of what I was taking in with UI.
Luckily I got some part-time freelance writing work in the health care field that helped me make ends meet, and when I didn't work enough hours, I got UI. It seems like everything in my house decided to break during this time. I had to replace my septic tank pump, my dryer, my kitchen stove, my tires, and even my heating and air conditioning system. I figured it was better to fix it in case I had to sell my house to have money to live on.
I knew what was going on with thousands of other people around the country, and that I was really not too bad off. So many other people were living in travel trailers with their children, or in their cars or tents. At least I had a house I could sell; the market in Texas was still OK.
Finally after a year and a half and a lot of persistence and perseverance, I got a job as an editor at UT Austin. I was thrilled to be back at work even though it meant a long commute. Eventually I returned to technical writing when a company I'd interviewed for a year earlier, and had come in 2nd for the job opening, had a new opening for which I applied and was offered the job.
All I can say to those out there still struggling to find work is to keep an open mind. Don't give up hope. Do everything you have to do to make ends meet and be conservative. If you have to downsize your lifestyle and so on, you just do it. I got really good at living on less. It was hard, but we managed.
If you need to, go online and learn new skills and new tools. There are a lot of resources out there for retraining and self training--so take advantage of that. Local colleges have programs and sometimes financing for people to learn new job skills. Look into those. Get out there and meet people, talk to everyone you know, call everyone you've ever worked with or you know who has a job and find out if they know of any openings.
Do not despair--you will get through it somehow and come out on the other end.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Why Weight Watchers Works for Me
I've been overweight and even obese since about my 40s and before that I struggled to maintain a lower weight. When I was a teenager and in my early 20s, like so many of us, I was skinny, really. Like many women I know, I've tried this and that, have lost weight and gained it back, and even tried Weight Watchers a few times before.
My sister who was always the chubby one of 3 sisters, joined WW when she was in her 40s, achieved her goal weight, and has been a lifetime member ever since (she's now in her early 70s). I know of many other success stories with people following this plan, which has greatly improved over the years.
The thing about this program that makes it do-able is that WW has access to a large range of experts--dietitians, nutritionists, probably endocrinologists, psychologists, and other healthcare professionals--who do the research and devise a sound nutritional plan that really works.
It's up to the individual to follow the program and make it work for him or her.
I think it is working for me this time because I am super motivated: it's now or never for me. My lipid profile shows my bad cholesterol (LDL) and triglycerides to be too high, good cholesterol (HDL) to be too low, and my HBA1C (3-month profile of blood sugars) to be very close to indicating diabetes. My joints hurt, especially knees, from carrying around an extra 35 pounds, and it is just imperative that I get the excess weight off my body. They say even a 10% reduction can help.
And after 5 weeks on the program I've achieved a weight loss of 5%. I already feel better, lighter, and have more energy.
I love the program this time around because it makes me pay attention to what I'm taking in each day--food and drink--by counting and tracking the points values and writing down the points I'm expending each day. And I know how many points I should be consuming in order to achieve a weight loss. It's not a fad diet where you eat only meat and vegetables or just grapefruit or just rice--it's a sound nutritional program where you focus on filling foods like fresh vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean proteins, and low-fat dairy or other calcium-rich foods.
It's easy to figure out the points values of what you like to eat and you learn quickly that a 4-point cookie or a 3-point bag of potato chips might taste great, but for that same number of points you can have a lot more food if you eat fruits, vegetables, and so on.
I'm ready to eat this way for life, and that's what the WW program is all about--learning how to eat for life so that you can have a life.
My sister who was always the chubby one of 3 sisters, joined WW when she was in her 40s, achieved her goal weight, and has been a lifetime member ever since (she's now in her early 70s). I know of many other success stories with people following this plan, which has greatly improved over the years.
The thing about this program that makes it do-able is that WW has access to a large range of experts--dietitians, nutritionists, probably endocrinologists, psychologists, and other healthcare professionals--who do the research and devise a sound nutritional plan that really works.
It's up to the individual to follow the program and make it work for him or her.
I think it is working for me this time because I am super motivated: it's now or never for me. My lipid profile shows my bad cholesterol (LDL) and triglycerides to be too high, good cholesterol (HDL) to be too low, and my HBA1C (3-month profile of blood sugars) to be very close to indicating diabetes. My joints hurt, especially knees, from carrying around an extra 35 pounds, and it is just imperative that I get the excess weight off my body. They say even a 10% reduction can help.
And after 5 weeks on the program I've achieved a weight loss of 5%. I already feel better, lighter, and have more energy.
I love the program this time around because it makes me pay attention to what I'm taking in each day--food and drink--by counting and tracking the points values and writing down the points I'm expending each day. And I know how many points I should be consuming in order to achieve a weight loss. It's not a fad diet where you eat only meat and vegetables or just grapefruit or just rice--it's a sound nutritional program where you focus on filling foods like fresh vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean proteins, and low-fat dairy or other calcium-rich foods.
It's easy to figure out the points values of what you like to eat and you learn quickly that a 4-point cookie or a 3-point bag of potato chips might taste great, but for that same number of points you can have a lot more food if you eat fruits, vegetables, and so on.
I'm ready to eat this way for life, and that's what the WW program is all about--learning how to eat for life so that you can have a life.
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