I started getting streaks of silver when I was in my 30s. Then it looked cool--sort of a frosted look. I got a lot of compliments on it. As I reached my 40s and my hair continued to get more silver, I started coloring it. Eventually, though, I got tired of the gray roots and having to deal with the whole dyeing process. Even though I used really good color with lots of conditioners, my hair felt dry and damaged. I didn't like how it felt, and I got tired of always having to color it. Coloring my hair in my bathroom was a messy job, and I didn't want to spend the bucks on getting it done in a salon.
When I reached my 50s I thought--to heck with this--I just want to be natural. I'm in my 50s--why shouldn't I have silver hair? I don't see that many men coloring their hair. Why is it that according to our society, when men go silver they look distinguished, but when women go silver they just look old and tired?
A lot of my friends who are my age still color their hair for various reasons. And I don't fault them their personal preferences. I respect their choice. Maybe they think their husbands will find they don't look as sexy or as youthful as they'd like them to be. But really, a true man and a sensitive and loving man will find his wife to be just as attractive with silver hair as she does with dyed hair.
The pressure for women of a certain age to dye their hair and cover their gray comes from the multi-billion dollar cosmetics and fashion industries. It really has nothing to do with a woman's attractiveness. Dyeing your hair damages it, and really it looks so unnatural. You see a face that is aging gracefully with some wrinkles and so on, and then this hair that is usually orange or otherwise brassy and metalic, which doesn't match the face. Plus it's got to be dangerous to put those chemicals on your scalp every few weeks--the scalp has more blood vessels than almost anywhere else in your body. Those chemicals are bound to get into your bloodstream and your system and be damaging on a cellular level. I have no proof of that, but it makes sense. Why is there so much cancer these days? Is there a link?
The need for women in our society and culture to dye their hair rather than celebrating their stage in life is just a symptom of a culture and society that devalues its more elderly and and ageing population. The focus on youth without a balance for appreciation of wisdom and the value that older people contribute diminishes us as a people. Many other cultures such as our native Americans, and many Asian and African cultures place great value on the elderly in their populations.
Of course there is also the devaluation of women in general in many societies. I'm sure that fact comes into play as well when women feel the need to try to look younger. If women are to be unappreciated because of their age, maybe they feel they can at least try to hang onto some of their youthfulness by appearing younger and therefore feel more wanted and valued.
When I see other women who have let their hair be its natural silver, it looks clean, healthy, and shiny and really beautiful. Just something to think about.
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